It would be great to say that I saw lots of people becoming Christians and personally was involved in their conversion. But the truth is just the opposite. I can count on the fingers of two hands the number of people I saw become Christian, and on the fingers of one hand those whose conversion I played some part in.
Does it mean to say it was a mistake to come to Japan and I should have left it to others to do a better job? And that I should say sorry to the many who supported me by giving so much to keep my wife and I in this expensive country? "We didn't send you to Japan so that you can just enjoy all the delicious sushi and admire the sakura every year," one can almost hear a couple of supporters back home saying.
Sometimes I do feel that way. Sometimes I do feel like throwing in the towel and packing up. But for 10 years, my wife and I have stuck to this commitment. Are we fools? Are we deceiving ourselves?
Someone back in our home church said this, "If you want to be a missionary, just choose Japan. You can be there for the longest of time and nothing will happen because the Japanese are so stubborn and will never become Christians. So then you will say you need to keep working the ground and therefore be justified in staying on. And in the meantime, you can enjoy all the good food, the beautiful scenery and comfortable living. So you have chosen just the right place!" You see, there are people who think that way.
So, why am I still here? The answer is simple. God loves the Japanese people and I love them too. And as long as I am given the opportunity to stay here and that circumstances back home do not beckon me home, I will continue plugging at the task I feel God has called me to. There are many missionaries who love some aspects of Japan but hate others, there are many who find it hard to appreciate the Japanese psyche, the Japanese way of doing things and the complexity of the Japanese language. But I have no such problem with that. That is not to say that I have never been hurt by Japanese people before, or that I have never found some of their way of doing things maddening. But these instances are so few and far between that I hardly am bothered by them. There is so much in the Japanese mind, in Japanese culture, that is beautiful and praise-worthy. If only we would respect them more and take time to understand them. And God who created this beautiful culture and race is reaching out to them in love to bring them back to Him. I would like to be a messenger of that Good News. And I believe that the Japanese are turning to God. Slowly but surely. That is why I am still here.
